What an old movie taught me about ADHD masking and the power of being seen.
In “Just the Way You Are” a young woman with a lifelong disability travels to a ski resort, pretending she’s recently injured. With a cast and a wheelchair, she’s finally treated with warmth, respect – even romance – because people assume her condition is temporary.
But the turning point isn’t the love story. It’s when she finally tells the truth – and the person she feared would leave… doesn’t. He sees her, accepts her, and stays.
So many people with ADHD do the same thing:
They “mask.”
They hide the overwhelm, the missed deadlines, the sensitivity.
They present the version they think others will accept.
But real connection (in one’s personal life) starts when we stop performing. When we’re no longer trying to prove our worth through productivity, people-pleasing, or perfectionism.
In my ADHD coaching work, I’ve seen the power of that unmasking. When clients start working with their brain instead of against it, things change:
– ADHD management takes off
– Clarity grows
– Self-compassion deepens
– Confidence builds – not from being flawless, but from being real.
The truth is: The right people don’t need you to hide your challenges.
They just need to see your strengths. And those people are often easier to find when we stop pretending and start showing up as our authentic selves.
